Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
