are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
MIDGETS
????
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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