Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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