I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
