whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
this is an emotional support booty call
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
