I smell stomach acid.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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