VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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