I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
