I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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