So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
