So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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