dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
