No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I could make wine with my vomit
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
