I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
