Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
