You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
