I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
