not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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