Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
