when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
