Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize