I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
