Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
