The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
