Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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