Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
what day is it and did you see me today?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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