I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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