Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
