Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
They took my balls.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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