he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm both gender and math confused
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
