She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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