im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
