i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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