I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
