is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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