Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
