bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
