You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
