Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
