I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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