Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
