Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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