Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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