How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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