You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
