weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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