I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
