i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
