Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
