omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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