Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he fucked my hip out of place.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize