i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
