He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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