I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm passing your future prison.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
