I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
