so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
