sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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