Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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