the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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