Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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