honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Randomize
