I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
