Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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