Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
