dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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